My New Year Resolution: Redefine Success
From quite an early age, we adopt a superficial understanding of “success”, whether that stemmed from the lifestyle we lived, our social environment, or what we consume on social media. In retrospect, it did not seem to align with the deeper meaning of fulfillment.
For me, success meant being wealthy, having a prestigious title, or getting some public validation. It was an image that could be perceived and praised by others rather than an inward sense of completion and accomplishment. As I grow older and go through the motions of life, I have realised there is more to life than this trivial validation.
Is this what truly brings joy and purpose?
From quite an early age, we adopt a superficial understanding of “success”. Whether that stemmed from the lifestyle we lived (sponsored by our parents), our social environment, or what we consume on social media, in retrospect, it did not seem to align with the deeper meaning of fulfillment.
I often heard that even the most affluent people are not always happy, a concept I could not grasp as a child. I would presume having significant wealth could buy you whatever you want and ultimately make you happy. However, I never considered the things you could not buy—those intangible things that are most valuable to us.
The ability to spend time with family and loved ones without the constraint of responsibility, having a sense of purpose from meaningful work, and having a content state of mind that no amount of money can buy. I will never forget the joy of seeing my best friends after six years—it was indescribable. It was genuinely one of the best times ever. Or when I worked with one of my biggest clients, it felt like a dream. These are only a few examples of things that are valuable to me. At such an early age, it is hard to determine what is meaningful to you and what is not. As an adult, it is a little easier. I find a good way to do so is by asking yourself:
Am I fulfilled? Am I happy?
We often get the answer we search for, the truth, in summary. “You can deceive everyone but yourself” is a statement that always proves just. The truth is often beneficial but not always positive. Asking myself this question triggers a deeper level of introspection.
Happiness is preached as this end-all, be-all, that one reaches by making the “right” life choices. We were told once we achieve it, it is eternal, but that has never been far from the truth. Discovering internal happiness was a journey itself and one I am still learning. Life is uncertain, and nothing is promised. We may have this detailed and intricate plan of how we want things to play out, but sometimes, it may not happen. These uncertainties, as unsettling as they seem, are part of life’s natural flow.
I have always believed that by following a particular life path (getting a degree, working a nice job, making good money, etc), I will be guaranteed success and live my life happily. Once I reached the 5-year goal I had set for myself at the start of university, I soon discovered that although I had reached my goal, I was not as happy as I expected. For months, I was consumed by this and submerged in this melancholic state.
I perceived happiness as a destination, and I determined it by what others told me it was. What truly made me happy differed from what I thought would make me happy. I value having meaningful connections with friends, working on my hobbies, and being healthy. Most of my happiest moments have been with the people I love. Seeing them happy gives me dopamine levels I cannot provide for myself. Until this realisation, I pursued another person’s definition of success/happiness.
Happiness, then, is less about chasing external markers of success and more about aligning with what truly fulfills us. So, I ask—what truly makes you happy?
Truly life is uncertain and nothing is guaranteed. Nice write up, thanks dear.
Thank you 🙏
I fully agree with not defining happiness as something that is perceived by the external segment of life or society in general. It’s all about finding the things that makes you feel “full” as a person whether that be sports, being with family or being seen in your workplace as an employee. Thank you for putting this out, it was an interesting read.
Thank you brother.