Women in Power -

“as children

we’re told to wait

for someone special

but no one ever teaches us

what special is”

(r.h. Sin, 2017, p. 10)

“We were all conceived in a powerful woman’s womb, regardless of the gender. This is a legacy passed down by Eve.”

In such a biased and digitally driven era where the male gender is perceived as dominant, Women of substance slash through the commotion with their insights and authenticity.

The woman has so much courage and is so powerful. She’s often stereotyped as a person who sometimes spends her time talking about what colour she painted her nails, how many shopping bags she got from a store, her trip to Europe or Australia et cetera, and of course gossiping (what’s a stereotypical woman without gossip?) . She’s so good at hiding her pain you’re completely distracted from the extreme abdominal cramping. As a kid I thought this was an act and I say something dumb like “Why are you acting?” and then the show is over in no time.

Let’s not get into the pain they feel when they get their period. Menstrual pains cause pains that are almost as bad as having a heart attack. Many of us can’t even handle the pain of stubbing our toes.

Culturally (as a Nigerian), a man is the head of the family, so he makes the decision that’s “best” for the family. This is not only familiar with the Nigerian culture, other tribes and religions are like this but I can only talk about experiencing it as a Nigerian. Personally, I can’t relate it with this experience but I have heard stories and seen scenes in the Nollywood (Nigerian Hollywood) movies. Your cliche; father disagrees with a method used by the mother and they have a huge argument which results in violence, you get the drift. Things like that are far more than scripts written by screenplay writers. They all happen around us and we choose to be ignorant about it, well that is the men (involved in/support such acts) obviously.

Very few homes support equality where the man and woman have equal power in running the family and luckily, I happen to be in that type of home. I’m not looking down on men, I’m a guy but I must say the idea of men ruling is archaic and disposable.

I find it redundant there are still obstacles to women gaining leadership positions. These are products of the patriarchal system that governs everything. “We need to stop trying to make women fit into moulds, and start re-shaping the system to better elevate woman of all diversities and backgrounds” Caroline Riseboro said and I couldn’t agree more. I have been following her for a minute and I must say she’s very inspiring. “Equality is more than a conversation about gender. It’s also a conversation about race, disability, identity, nationality, and more. We not only have to share similarities, but we need to appreciate our differences.” Another of her quotes. A lot of people talk to me about their problems (I’m a good listener) and sometimes I think how similar we are regardless of how we look, our race, nationality or whatever. It’s almost like we are living the same life but yet we are not. We get to make different decisions, that’s the only difference.

The other day I stumbled across across a poem called “Phenomenal Woman” written by Maya Angelou. Probably the most well constructed poem and written stanzas I’ve read yet. Maya talks about the joy of being a woman; the elegancy that is being a woman, from the fire in her eyes, flash of her teeth to the swing of her waist. “Men themselves have wondered; what they see in me” “… My inner mystery. When I try to show them; They say they still can’t see” couldn’t have been said any better. I’ve always seen the female gender of equal power if not more powerful. There’s just so much about them that’s not know but yet we treat them as if they are under us (not everyone in the society but some). It’s sad but facts; a man can’t handle the hurt it he gives a woman. We as men are stronger physically in general but there’s more to power than just brute strength. Knowledge is power, our body/ her body is power, our ability to speak is power, we have so much power but the little advantage we have as men is abused and used to create a deep-seated gender norms which heavily benefits the man.

I can’t talk about all the problems that’s going on but I know one thing for sure; if the mind-set of this inequality keeps growing this wound, this would be a problem of our next generation women. We can only fight and speak our mind in hopes this gender norm would be balanced.

In the mean time, enjoy this poem

As he spoke she learned how to bite her tongue more

Spoke less

Silencing herself and listening to him drown her words out like a waterfall falling into an abyss of dust

She learned how to keep her composure while he plans wars and debate democracy, and why a woman has no use in a man’s world

She took his chains and wrapped them around her body, bound to him to bow to his every command and feed him when he needs it and clean the cloth that provided the food on the table

She spoke less while he told her she has no right to say what she can do with her rights, and that she has no right to oppose your rules

Because she is a woman?

Degraded to sex?